Edinburgh. Glasgow. Two cities, 46 miles apart and yet polar opposites.
We think yous speak funny. You think we speak funny. We call your birds chipshop. You call ours posh. If there’s one thing Glasgow and Edinburgh can agree on, it’s that they can’t agree on anything.
Which city is better?
It would be nice to state that both cities have their virtues and ought to be judged on their own merits, but that just won’t cut it. This is the internet, where there’s no space for shades of grey. Either Glasgow sucks or Edinburgh does. Which is it gonna be?
Yes, it’s 2013 and this is what we’re reduced to: crafting link-baiting faux-controversial listicles that are designed to get mad shares. Don’t hate the player, hate BuzzFeed. They’re the ones who killed the internet.
10 reasons why Edinburgh beats Glasgow
1. We live longer
Don’t mean to be dicks about it, but we may as well get this one out of the way: we live longer. It’s not because of our aversion to blades – it’s because of your affinity for pies. Yous will deep fry anything. We’ll deep fry almost anything. That makes us the least unhealthiest.
2. We speak better (mostly)
You can tell when we’ve finished a sentence because we don’t leave it dangling with a preposition, know what I mean but.
(Though we do sometimes say barry, it’s true.)
3. We get to drink in public
That’s right, we get to consume industrial-strength alcohol in full view of the po-po errday. And we still live longer.
u jelly glasgow?
4. We have the Fringe festival on our doorstep
And yeah we bitch about it sometimes, but we still love it, if only for the 5am licensing.
5. We get hordes of beautiful tourists to piece entertain
We offer them a couch to surf on. In return, we teach them how to ride the most average wave of their lives.
6. We’ve got the Scottish Parliament
That’s got to be worth bragging about, right? Sure it’s parochial and they squabble a lot, but still, it’s nice to have that giant terrorist target painted on our backs.
7. We have better rappers
Edinburgh’s Werd, Deeko, Butler, Big Radge, Nostal, Silvertongue, Madhat and Wardie versus Gasp, Physics, Konchis, Nity, Louie and Loki.
Then again, you guys do have MOG.
Then again, we also have MOG as part of Bang Dirty. We’ll call that one a score draw, if only to avert years of east coast/west coast wylin’.
Also from Ed Uncovered: The 10 Best Scottish Hip-Hop Songs Ever
8. We’ve produced better bands
The Proclaimers, The Waterboys, Idlewild and Shirley Manson versus Simple Minds, Glasvegas (LOL), Texas and Franz Ferdinand.
And writers:
Irvine Welsh, Ian Rankin, Iain Banks, Alexander McCall Smith and JK Rowling versus Alasdair Grey (dunno, I had to Google him).
9. The biggest Scottish films are made here
★ Filth
★ Sunshine On Leith
★ A Weegie Abroad (hey, it was edited in Edinburgh)
All Glasgow’s got is World War Z, and everyone knows that was pish.
We’re also home to the biggest global game: GTA V.
u mad son?
And finally, the greatest reason of all why Edinburgh beats Glasgow: we’ve got chippy sauce. And yous havnae. Deal wi’ it.
Glasgow: If petty tribalism has made you feel slighted by some words you read on the internet, you’re welcome to seek revenge. Post your rebuttals in the comments below or tweet @eduncovered with your butthurt. The best ones will go in next week’s response: 10 Reasons Why Glasgow is Better Than Edinburgh.
The Proclaimers are from Edinburgh? I don’t think the city limits stretch to Auchtermuchty!
They were born in leith, and grew up in Edinburgh, Cornwall, and Auchtermuchty
Very biased haha but I agree these are things that make Edinburgh tight, especially chippy sauce.
NUFF said
1…. Yous will deep fry anything. (YOUS) ???? f#ck off
2…we speak better …… you ALREADY FUCKED UP on 1 … weegies will talk to you at a bus stop Edinburgh folk are boring cunts without the GIFT of the GAB
Scheme dirties in glasgow vs. Classy foreign puntang in Edinburgh. I must say, it’s a tough call on this one as I do love my wee filth bags, however, only one of these two important feminine species is getting treated nice afterwards. Ed just edges it for me. Living longer not necessarily a plus….
Aye and we don’t say “ehh big man” at the beginning of every sentence, and don’t forget that frustratingly annoying accent that does yer head in – big man.
Loki is from Glasgow and he is the reason Scottish Rap exists to a very high extent. Big up Werd and madhat though !
Scott Stewart
I thought GTA V was from Scumdee?
Divide and conquer eh?
Why do you seek to pit us against each other?
Have to disagree with the bit about music. Simple Minds kick the fuck out of every other band listed there.
but we all know Dunfermline, of all places, is the best for music. Big Country and Nazareth.
Have u listened to WERD….? U tube ” Drive it like is F…….. Stolen ”
Or anything , especially ” one nation ” quality !
Sunshine on Leith was filmed in Glasgow’s Merchant City
Only the exterior shots of Filth were filmed in Edinburgh. It was mostly filmed in Glasgow.
there is far more polish in edinbra
World War Z was awesome!
edinburgh gives u free brown sauce an vinagar
OMFG ! YOU FUCKING SNOBBY IDIOT
edinbrugh is shit cause all they do is moan
i am from glasgow
What’s the bestt thing about Glasgow? Seeing it in your rear-view mirror!
who ever wrote this has no ideahaha and haven’t done enough research(plus never lived in glasgow), I’ve lived in edinburgh and glasgow 10 years each and i would still rather live in maryhill than dead centre of edinburgh
I was born in Edinburgh and have lived here since birth 29 years ago. Edinburgh has its fair share of snobby bellends. I guess Glasgow does too. It’s the same anywhere you go. The festival is a joke in Edinburgh. It becomes 4 weeks that people that actually live in Edinburgh are pretty much removed from the city center. All year you could visit a pub up town then the festival comes and you are barred for 4 weeks! No reason just ” Not tonight lads”. The city center is the worst part of Edinburgh. Its where the “snobby” image comes from. Visit the other sides like Gorgie or Leith to see the real people…. and probably get stabbed.
Glasgow voted yes ! Edinburgh wants to be an English city ! Shamed Edinburgh resident.
You are fucking stupid. Because Scottish people of Edinburg have rationally good manners when they have to, are highly intelligent and don’t nonsencially swear like absolute idiots every time you consider them non Scottish which is in fact absolutely retarded.
You Glasgow cunts will definetely eat feces if they throw you hogwash that shit-eating is Scottish. You an embarrassment to Socttish people.
somehow you’ve convinced yourself that Scottish people from Edinburgh are “intelligent” and “well mannered” in my opinion your comment shows that you are completely mistaken as what you have said is the complete opposite of both “intelligent” and “well mannered” and that infact you specifically are a complete embarrassment to Scottish people.
By the way I’m from Glasgow (the BEST Scottish city)
Im from edinburgh but after the referendum i despise this right wing capitalist hub of our beautiful land. Glasgow had hope and faith in our country nd in turn told the bbc nd westminster to get tae fuck. Glasgows got the people that seek change and also have a shred of common sense, 65% of edinbergers are ignorant daftys who failed the poor and vulnerable in this country by falling for the establishments bollocks and so far most dont seem to see its a decision that will be laughed at by the world for hundreds of years. Glasgows got better people and its the people that make a place.
Obviously this article is tongue-in-cheek but we all know that only Fringe time tourists actually like Edinburgh?
Edinburgh lassies are posh? Not the ones I know of. Edinburgh has its fair share of schemes as does Glasgow have its fair share of lovely areas – Clarkston, Giffnock, Newton Mearns, Bearsden… In fact, recently it was shown that 10 of 10 most desirable post codes in Scotland were actually in Glasgow.
Music? Edinburgh doesn’t have a music scene. Glasgow is a world leader in Techno and the band scene is thriving every single night.
Yes, some of us may speak like they have a peg on their nose but it must be equally noted that the Edinburgh dialect consists of half words that make no sense to anyone else.
Anyway, two different cities, two different vibes. But Glasgow is miles better 😉
I Edinburgh