We’re not the only ones who’ve mastered the art of raising glass to mouth and back again in rapid fashion however. The Nigels are just as accomplished at this ancient discipline, as are those crazy Irish bastards. Then again, so are the Germans and the Poles – and let’s not even get started on the goddamn Russians. When you start to think about it, the whole world is pretty good at getting drunk.
You drink it, we’ve named it
We may imbibe the same poison but we booze 1,000 different flavours. We may attain the same state but we describe it with 1,000 different words. When it comes to naming based things – penises; vaginas – we’re a creative bunch.
Michael Mcintyre nails it in his sketch on drunkenness (quoted rather than embedded so you don’t have to listen his smug toadying voice):
50 great names for drunk
★ Badgered
★ Bladdered
★ Buckled
★ Blotto
★ Blootered
★ Three sheets to the wind
★ Four to the floor
★ Annihilated
★ Destroyed
★ Hammered
★ Lashed
★ Legless
★ Moulin Rouged
★ Mortaled
★ Gettin mad wi’ it
★ Guttered
★ Rubbered
★ Plastered
★ Paralytic
★ Pickled
Names for slightly drunk
★ Jolly
★ Merry
★ Lubricated
Names for medium drunk
Buckfast rejuvenates
★ Boozy
★ Half cut
Names for fucking drunk
★ Completely cut
★ Well lubricated
★ Off his face
★ Out her tree
Internet names for drunk
★ #REKT
Literary names for drunk
★ Bukowski’d
Words used by my homeboiz
★ Smashed (pronounced Smesht! with an emphasis on the e)
Scottish names for drunk
★ Cunted
★ Jaked
★ Bevvied
★ Pished
★ Reekin
★ Mingin
★ Stoatin
★ Bleezin
Moar names for drunkenness
★ Ratted
★ Sozzled
★ Shitfaced
★ Slaughtered
★ Sloshed
★ Steaming
★ Steamboats
★ Trashed
★ Winehoused
Words only a dictionary would use
★ Inebriated
★ Inebrious
★ Intemperate
★ Intoxicated
Drunk names I just invented
★ Rooted
★ Defaced
★ Bitmapped
★ Gone full XP
★ Deleted system 32
★ Alphabet soup (so drunk you try and call every name in your phonebook)
★ A-listed (so drunk you keep repeat ringing your dealer)
★ Locked out (so drunk you can’t unlock your phone)
★ Emoji’d (so drunk you can only text emoticons)
★ Fully cocked (so drunk you group Snapchat your cock)
★ Duckfaced (girls so drunk they keep wapping out their iPhones to take selfies)
★ Auschwitz’d (so drunk you pass out with the oven on)
If you’re craving more names for drunk like you’re craving a drink right now then go get em: this blog has 365 of the fuckers. Still not enough? Someone has gone one further and written a book containing 3,000 names for drunk. That’s nothing though: this dude has gone full liquor and created an entire timeline of names for drunk which run all the way back to the 16th century.
I like names for drunk, just not that much. If I missed any essential names, chuck em in the comments below. Better still, invent your own phrases and submit them. If there’s one thing the world needs, it’s more names for being drunk.
By Ed Uncovered
You forgot Wankered (Y)
“Deleted System 32” made me do a proper LOL.
mrs. lindsey
Maggotted – as in you’re movement is now resembling a maggot
There should be a section for older names, like from the sixties or twenties.
Crocked
Half Shot
Half Gone
Overcome
Overtaken
Primed
Afflicted
Elevated
Exhilarated
Genial
Chock-a-Block
Jiggered
Having a Brannigan on.
An applejack gait
Half-seas over
Tanked up
One and Thirty
when i used to go to wildwood, nj. we had a friend who’s lip would get all stoopid when drunk. so we called it “putty-lipped”.
You missed one of my favorites: foxed. I read a lot of historical fiction and I see that a lot.
A few of my people would say “wastey-faced-ed”
A combination of ‘wasted’ and “drunk out of his face”
How’s about
Sloshed
Pissed(words used in England)
Tanked
Full blown
Banked off
Cheesed
Slammed
I’m all jacked up on mountain dew (redneck slang)
Slackjawed
Fukered
Tom Hucked
Skewered
Shizzled