Sex. Three letters, 9,000 ways to do it, an infinite number of ways to describe it. If you’re going to slide into your bae’s DMs and start installing malware, it’s important you deploy the right vocabulary. That way, he/she/xi will understand that your proposal for Netflix and chill is a request to stir up skirt yoghurt, and not to watch Netflix and chill.
With the right sexual lexicon (sexicon?), it’s possible to proposition your partner with onlookers being none the wiser. Talk dirty across the dinner table without the kids catching on; WhatsApp your fuckbuddy on the train without having to shield your screen.
From the faces you pull to the words you scream, sex is fucking ridiculous. And now, thanks to 50 Great Names for Sex, so’s its name.
Awesome names for sex
★ Bumping uglies
★ Makin’ bacon
★ Mattress dancing
★ Slapping bellies
★ Threading a needle
★ Sinking the sausage
★ IRL intercourse
★ Making the beast with two backs
★ Winding the clock
★ Dropping anchor
★ Cock snuggling
★ Marinating the loin
★ Doing Mexican pushups
★ Visiting Disneyland
★ Shenanigans
★ Going to church
★ Rocking the trailer
★ Horizontal jogging
★ Grease and oil change
Gross names for sex
★ Riding the bologna pony
★ Riding the skin bus to tuna town
★ Attack on the pink fortress
★ Playing hide the canoli
★ Plugging in to the meat socket
★ Blowing out some dick snot
★ Spelunking the bat cave
★ Stirring up skirt yoghurt
★ Making banana pudding
★ Playing rodeo (most suited to when you call another girl’s name and then hang on for dear life)
Old fashioned names for sex
★ Playing couch quail
★ Putting the devil into hell
★ Playing at rumpscuttle and clapperdepouch
More ancient names for sex here.
Scottish names for sex
★ Piecing
★ Getting yer hole
★ Smashing the granny clean aff it
Spanish names for sex
★ Follar
★ Pijar
★ Guarrear
★ Fornicar
★ Mojar el churro
★ Echar un polvo
★ Hacer el amor
Ed Uncovered’s names for sex
★ Making hummus
★ Installing Windows (slow sex)
★ Behind a proxy (safe sex)
★ Sandboxing (safe sex)
Internet names for sex
And there you have it: 50 great names for intercourse. Thirsty for moar? As one ledditor points out, “You can make anything sound like a sex act just by combining a random adjective with a random noun. Like, “Man, this chick I met last night was crazy hot, I ended up giving her a Fluffy Elephant”. Double points if you add ‘reverse’ at the beginning. “So then he pulled The Reverse Brown Goblin and I had to call the police.”“
By Ed Uncovered
You people are total reprobates. I love it.
Is this the last in the 50 Great Names series? I bloody hope not.
“Embarrassing the lady lace”
“Eating the lunch box”
” surfing the pink wave”
“Dancing in the tulip field ”
“Twerking the jerking ”
” one man shuffles ‘
“Lonely bone”
“Taming the main”
“Slipping and sliding”
” packing the punch ”
“Scaling the tower ”
“Bumping the stump”
Great site you have here.. It’s difficult to find
quality writing like yours these days. I truly appreciate individuals
like you! Take care!!