The internet is a wonderful place. The sum of all human knowledge, it is a space where minds meet, theories float and matches are made. Great music; epic art; dank memes; they’re all here, posted on the web for you to rock out to, ‘mire hard and share harder.
But there’s another thing the internet is good for: finding hilarious names for taking a dump. If you’re reading these words from the bathroom while crimping off a length, take a bow – it’ll make it easier to wipe. But first, enjoy these sophisticated names for a Donald Trump, and remember: Shits are like snowflakes: every one’s unique…plus when you hold them they melt in your hand.
Names for crapping
★ Anal puking
★ Assquake
★ Building a log cabin
★ Coiling some rope
★ Freeing the turtles
★ Growing a tail
★ Analyzing a log dump
★ Backing the trailer in
★ Baking a loaf
★ Baking some brownies
★ Baptising ______ [racial epithet]
★ Becoming one with the animal kingdom
★ Being anal-nonretentive
★ Big brown man knocking on the back door
★ Blowing mud
★ Bombing the Oval Office
★ Bunghole train has left the station
Lip-smacking names for doing a poo
★ Chopping a log
★ Coiling a steamer
★ Cooking a brown carrot
★ Cooking a butt burrito
★ Cooking up a pot of anal stew
★ Crimping off a length
★ Curling some pipe
★ Dirty birth
★ Downloading some brownware
★ Drilling for mud bunnies
★ Dropping a chocolate cobra
★ Dropping the kids off at the pool
★ Drowning the kittens
★ Exporting a cigar to Cuba
★ Filling the peanut butter jar
★ Full moon over troubled waters
★ Giving a [ethnic slur] a burial at sea
★ Greeting Mr Hankey
★ Grinding the beef
Moar names for doing a jobby
★ Hatching a new boss
★ Honking out a dirt snake
★ Launching a rectal rocket
★ Meeting the bald man with the cigar
★ Floating a corn canoe
★ Laying some brown carpet
★ Letting my people go
★ Letting the dog out
★ Making a deposit at the porcelain bank
★ Making a grunt sculpture
★ Making a Minnesota hand warmer
★ Making butt gravy
★ Making haggis
★ Making some trouser chili
★ Microwaving a dachshund
★ Negotiating the release of the chocolate hostages
★ Offloading some freight
★ Painting the bowl
★ Paving the Hershey highway
★ Paying the plumber
★ Planting a steaming bouquet of brown roses
★ Pinching the head off a [ethnic slur]
★ Poking the turtle’s head out
★ Polluting the pond
★ Praying to Buddha
★ Backing the big brown caddy out of the garage
★ Putting fruit in the bowl
★ Releasing the hounds
★ Removing a butt tampon
★ Squeezing out a Hershey’s Kiss
★ Stocking the lake with brown trout
★ Unfurling a poopdedoop
Credit: World of Crap
Specialist terms for poopy sex time
★ Blumpkin: Getting a blowjob while taking a shit
★ Cleveland Steamer: When someone shits on their partner’s chest and then rocks back and forth like a steam roller
★ Alabama Hot Pocket: Taking a shit inside a girl’s vagina. And then having sex with it
By Ed Uncovered
Dropping the kids off at the pool
Don’t forget… “Downloading the Captain’s Log”
This phrase could be improved with a slight change:
★ Alabama Hot Pocket: Taking a shit inside a girl’s vagina. And then having sex with it
★ Alabama Hot Pocket: Taking a shit inside a dead girl’s vagina. And then having sex with it
Heave a Havana.
Firing people from a plantation
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