Guest blog by Sophie Gackowski
Before we go any further, no, not those kind of sites. Call them landmarks, attractions or tourist traps; I’m in the business of globetrotting – nothing more. Google ‘erotic sites’ and some pretty weird stuff comes up, the bulk of which is best viewed alone. At a stretch you might encounter ‘erotic gherkin’, but I’m hardly going to suggest a London skyscraper – especially not one built on the say-so of John Prescott.
No, I’m talking phallic landmarks, sexy theme parks, kinky museums and heartbeat-hastening—erm—temples. But in all seriousness, the following list forms my garish guide to the world’s top erotic sites, delivered from me to you because, well, I’m just that kind of girl. Y’know; cultured and well-travelled.
Haesindang Park in Samcheok, South Korea
Haesindang Park, or Penis Park (yes, really) is situated 12 miles outside Samcheok. Despite its Whac-A-Mole array of sexy statues, it has a surprisingly tragic backstory. Legend has it a virgin drowned herself in the sea here, and for years afterward the fish all but disappeared. The solution? To appease her by building a park full of penises, of course.
The Lupanar of Pompeii, Italy
A brothel you can frequent without having to perform the walk of shame, Lupanare Grande is Pompeii’s most infamous hangout. Ten rooms plastered floor-to-ceiling with erotica are adorned with Latin graffiti including the timeless “hic ego puellas multas futui” — please, look it up for yourself. If you’ve never navigated your way around a brothel before, fear not – just follow the phallic-shaped arrows.
Love Land of Jeju, South Korea
More art collection than theme park, Jeju Love Land houses some 140 salacious sculptures, created by Seoul art students. Turn handles to watch silhouetted couples make the beast with two backs; jump on a giant penis for the best selfie of 2014; caress the biggest booty you’re ever likely to see – the list goes on. The weirdest part of the park is undoubtedly the children’s playground. You wouldn’t see that in Britain.
Candi Sukuh of East Java, Indonesia
A temple of mysterious origins, Candi Sukuh is steeped in bizarre stories: fertility cults; ancient animism; aliens. A UNESCO World Heritage site perched on the slopes of Mount Lawu, it’s a little more upmarket than my other suggestions – which isn’t hard, admittedly. Distorted figures doing unspeakable things mark Candi Sukuh’s strangely Mayan-like walls, carved by, well, we’ve still no idea.
Sex Machines Museum of Prague, Czech Republic
It may have opened in 2002, but the museum’s devilish devices date back to the 16th century. With over 200 gadgets and gizmos designed solely for the purposes of pleasure (or pain – whatever floats your boat), Prague’s premier sex site uses bendy dolls to show how it’s done – for your education, of course. From ‘coercive’ chairs to iron corsets, this is a one-stop shop for all things BDSM. Ouch.
Chao Mae Tuptim Shrine of Bangkok, Thailand
How many man-bits can be crammed into one blog? Quite a lot, and here come some more. Situated in Nai Lert Park, this Bangkok shrine is dedicated to the deity Chao Tuptim, who – according to legend – helped a barren woman conceive. After praying to the goddess and having her wish fulfilled, the new mum gifted a large wooden penis to the park by way of thanks. Others followed suit, creating the dong forest we see today.
Marquis de Sade’s Home in Lacoste, France
The Marquis de Sade (or as I like to call him, the Grand Daddy of Sadism) lived in Lacoste during the 1770s, having fled from the shady reputation he’d garnered in Paris for his distaste of all things vanilla. In the subsequent centuries, the castle crumbled until fashion designer Pierre Cardin rode to the rescue. Today, the castle is being restored to its former glory – minus de Sade’s mass orgies presumably.
Khajuraho Temples of Madhya Pradesh, India
India’s Khajuraho Temples take the Kama Sutra to a whole new level. There are three groups of temples to see here, each adorned with explicit images of humans; gods; animals; anything goes. Dating back to 950 A.D and the reign of the Chandela dynasty, the temples were lost in the 13th century before being unearthed in 1838. Visiting all three sites may prove too much for even the raunchiest of travellers. How much filth can you handle?
And there we have it: the world’s top erotic sites, according to me. Fancy visiting any of these tasteful attractions? When I’m not blogging about priapic temples, I write travel articles for HomeAway, the UK’s largest holiday rental company. Check out their holiday homes, from Pompeii to Lacoste, right here.