Things to Do When Nothing’s on the Telly is the new single from Edinburgh duo Rantum Scantum. The droll acoustic track is accompanied by a quirky video from TDSLR’s Tommy Slack.
For the benefit of those who are too lazy to click the play button, there follows a short review of Things to Do. While words can never replicate the experience of watching the goddamn video, that’s your decision. Don’t hate the reviewer – hate your own ambivalence to life.
What’s to Do?
On first impressions, Things to Do shouldn’t be any good. There’s a typo in the video titles for fuck’s sake. The band’s name is kind of annoying. And then there’s the melody to contend with, which is money-back guaranteed to harass your tits.
But wait – there’s good stuff too. The lyrics are amusing, the video is charming and the whole affair is infused with enough warmth to melt Antarctica. With nods to drug dealing, gambling, drinking and prostitution, this song couldn’t be any more Scottish if it came wrapped in tartan and dipped in batter.
I’m not suggesting Things to Do is atavistic incidentally, but in 2013 isn’t watching telly the thing you do when there’s Nothing Happening in the Rest of Your Life? Things to Do When There’s Nothing on the Internet would seem more accurate. No one chases smack and gets bumped by hoors because there’s nothing on the telly. They do it cos this is Scotland and that’s just how we roll.
Over the course of three minutes, you’ll lol, you’ll grimace and you may even let slip a wry smile as Rantum Scantum reveal Things to Do When Nothing’s on the Telly, most of which seem to involve scorching foil and piecing hookers. Made in Chelsea just can’t compete with such five-star entertainment.
If you’re not averse to a spot of singer-songwritery-oh-look-it’s-these-two-chords-again music, Things to Do is mighty fine. Even if the song fails to leave a spring in your step, the video is sure to hit all your erogenous zones simultaneously and leave you nursing a new-found appreciation for the word moist.
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